Letting Go of the "All The Things" Mentality




This morning, I had an epiphany moment listening to Natalie Lussier's "Off The Charts: Business Podcast". Her guest, Denise Duffield-Thomas shared " Seven Life-changing Millionaire Habits". Among many great points in the conversation, one stood out most.

Align your focus to become known for one thing.


At first I thought, wellll what if you enjoy/ have a passion for multiple things? Sure enough, she answered the question 10 seconds later. You can be great at a variety of things, but if you're aiming to build a business, stick to becoming a known leader for one thing. And even though this is a professional podcast, I think the lesson translates well to our personal lives too.

Business aside, this is a concept I struggled with my entire life, along with many people I know.

Consider yourself as an individual. Odds are, you are multi-faceted with disciplines in a range of areas. You might play sports, be an expert at cello, fix cars, cook gourmet meals, and rock at CrossFit. As my grandma would say, "A Jack-of-all-Trades". Case and point: You da bomb.com


Look at the amount of hours you have in a single week. How much time do you really have? Sometimes, we get a little ambitious in taking on a variety of activities to be "known for". Suddenly we are a member of five organizations, working on multiple projects, volunteering, and juggling normal life. Focus begins to dissipate, while our body dips into mental and emotional overload. (hides face in hands from guilt)


The hard part is, our behavior is often harmless. We desire to simply put our talents and services to good use. Subconsciously, there is a flip side too. The overwhelming desire to be known for a TON of things tends to connect to a deeper, internal insecurity. We desire to be known for "all the things" in attempt to improve self-esteem. To solidify we are valuable. Best student, best leader, best resource, best style, best body, best social life, best friend....however the list fits your life circumstances. The adrenaline rush of feeling the best and known as all-encompassing individual.. The "If I'm leading in all things, people will respect me and value me" mentality. It's a toxic mindset, but there's an extremely simple solution.


If you feel like you're losing balance or stretching yourself too thin, go back to the root of who you are. Whether it's your legitimate business or just your personal identity. What fuels your fire the most? In the spectrum of activities, what would you go crazy from taking out of your life? It's natural at first, to justify multiple answers (I sat for 10 minutes going back and forth). Eventually it came back to writing. Yes, I love style, photography, branding, pr, marketing, dance, volunteering, etc. However, my true passion is storytelling and writing about life.


Again, this is not saying there is anything wrong with being super-involved. Simply get real with yourself and examine the opportunity costs. Doing the things we love shouldn't have a negative impact on our lives. We can be great for many reasons, but we don't need to attempt to live out allll of those reasons to full capacity. Everything you do doesn't need to be done at 1,000%. Being a chair for four different boards, teaching classes, coaching the team, and leading projects: all in the same week. (If that's your M.O. I applaud you for being able to do it all) Instead of trying to blaze trails in every talent you have, maybe allow some to just be stress reliever hobbies. Slowing down on commitments and roles doesn't take away value from your contributions. You are still a rockstar and don't need to juggle flaming sticks to prove it.


Bottom line: Quality over quantity. You can be doing a million things, but what is the quality of work with all those commitments? If I've learned anything it's this:


It will always be better to be stellar at a few things, than mediocre at many. Your self-worth should never be based off what you "do", but instead, who you "are".


Don't cause your light to burn out from keeping it running too much. Someone out there needs it.

Love and light always. :) <3

Stay Connected!
Visit my contact page for bookings and inquiries.

© 2020 by Shelby Wilburn