Updated: Nov 22, 2020
I kept holding onto past memories, but that's the problem. THAT is the real issue.
It is unfair to hold yourself and other people hostage to the past. "History" is not justification to look through a lens of outdated expectations. Yes, the past was valuable, but consider now.
What is the feeling today?
What is the communication like today?
How do you feel about where things stand today?
Are you happy or are you holding onto the way things used to be?
Sometimes, nostalgia is what hinders us from properly moving into the future. We hold on so tightly to past moments, that we blind ourselves to the present reality. I had a mentor say to me "That accomplishment was 6 years ago. What have you done in that capacity since then?" And to be honest, I stumbled because when I considered the question, I didn't really have ground to stand on. It made me further consider my entire life.
What areas, connections, and commitments am I keeping afloat by replaying "the good old days"? Do these things even align with who I am anymore?
This has been one of my greatest challenges this year. Pushing myself to step outside of myself and acknowledge the realities of my life. Facing hard truths and having difficult conversations. Taking ownership of my faults and opening lines of communication to find clarity. Sometimes making the painful choice to just remove myself, following my intuition to not open certain old wounds. Pushing myself to stop resting on things I did in 2014 and work toward new accomplishments.
It has NOT been easy either. I struggle with conflicting feelings because deep down, a piece of my soul does wish everything could be the way it used to be. I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but maybe I'm trying to force it? This process of development and growth is natural.
And maybe....that's just it.
There is still light in all of us. Those past seasons served their purpose and the positive impact of those times can never be erased. Maybe it is just time for you to shine your light in new places. Time to step up to new challenges. Time to align to the areas, connections, and commitments that fit who you are today. One of the largest disservices you can do to yourself is suffocate who you are today to maintain a figment of who you used to be. Recognizing this does not have to be a bad experience either. No animosity. No judgement. No negative energy.
Simply understanding this is a part of life.
And maybe...That's just it.