The Truth About Self Care

Those sparkling, iridescent balls of joy aren’t the only bombs dropping in the battle of self-care. The bubbles are merely a surface for all murky water resting beneath them.

I am guilty of sometimes drowning in the self-care illusion. Indulging in clay masks and bottles of wine, while hoping to heal my soul with another Instagram post to document the deed. This isn’t to say doing any of that is wrong. I believe we deserve those “#treatyoself” moments. Yet, I feel like, with self-care, we tend to only glorify a portion of what the process actually entails. There is more to nurturing yourself than meets the public eye.

Self-care is entertaining, but also daunting. It requires acknowledging hard truths and working through them. Self-care is not just about our flesh. It is tied to the deepest parts of our emotional and mental psyche. Those dim crevices in our heart and soul we often try our hardest to patch up with pedicures. Just like any living organism, good health starts at the root of a healthy foundation. Personal awareness guides our choices and habits. And once we take time to get in tune with ourselves, self-care often requires deconstruction. We have to demolish the behaviors that continue to destroy us. One toxic contact “delete” at a time. The process isn’t always pretty. In fact, it is disgustingly messy at times. We have to get our hands dirty to face the ugliness we choose to disregard.

Here’s the truth of the matter.

Those inner pains will continue to follow us as shadows if we continue to ignore them. They will repeatedly taint the soil in which our futures could flourish. The longer we run, the bigger the giants seem to us. We owe it to ourselves to stand up to them. It might not be as satisfying as an impromptu shopping spree, but the long-term effects are what matter. We are powerful AND capable of facing our deepest fears head-on. Let’s start to dive deeper. Continue to create open and safe spaces to work on those areas. It is okay to remove ourselves for a while to heal. There is nothing wrong with going on that journey privately, away from the social sphere. Time and time again, we relapse from the surface-level quick fix techniques. How about we break the cycle in 2019?

Self-care takes TIME. Be honest with yourself and understand it is a process. Lean on those who love you for accountability. Give yourself the freedom to explore. Everyone is different, so do what feels right for you. We can still treat ourselves too. Keep treating yourself because you DO deserve it! Buuuut let’s also work on balance. Imagine how much lighter you’ll feel when you start to actually feel a change and not just see it temporarily. I plan to live a life experiencing the full manifestation of self-care in 2019. When you’re ready, you will undoubtedly be able to live that life too.

Sending love and light always.



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© 2020 by Shelby Wilburn